nonbinaryresource:

hi there. i so feel you! i’m not genderfluid, but i’m nonbinary and i rock the long hair. here’s the thing: if you love it, and it sounds like you really do!, then i don’t think you should cut it. of course, it’s hair and it’ll grow back and you shouldn’t be afraid to cut it. but it sounds like you might regret cutting it, and i wouldn’t want you to feel like you have to cut it to fit into any model of genderfluid expression.

on top of all of that, there are definitely genderfluid folks out there with long hair, i promise. and there are ways to style long (and curly!) hair. 

you should definitely check out our /hair tag, but i’ll also link you to a few resources specifically for folks with long, curly hair:

• fauxhawk tutorial for long curly hair
• queer pomp tutorial (not specifically for folks with really curly hair, but with the right styling aids you can adapt it!)
• this is from a men’s style blog, but check it out for reference to good styling pomades for curly hair
• also let’s all just check out this look

other genderfluid style resources and blogs that might be useful to peruse:

• genderfluidfashion
• androstyle
• houseofalexzander
• the genderfluid hair tag on tumblr
• genderfluidhair (currently on hiatus)

whenever i am feeling a little genderweirdy about having long hair, i mostly just go look at pictures of willy cartier. also, old school pictures of johnny depp with longer hair; he had a bit of curl to it. but now, for some more practical tips!

i think that keeping your hair all one length - i.e., no layers - is one step towards being able to rock a more masculine take on long hair. additionally, where you part your hair can help with this: try a more centered part. if you want to tie your hair back, play around with these options: a low, loose ponytail or the always extraordinary man-bun. you might want to invest in some hair pomade and try slicking your hair back and letting it fall loosely (like this, which is someone with straight/straightened hair, or like some of the images at this pinterest, which focuses on men with long hair and includes men with long curly hair.)

you could also look into doing a variation on an undercut, depending on your type of hair and whether or not you’re interested in/able to cut your hair at all. with an undercut, you could style it on some days so that the shaved part of your hair isn’t visible at all, and on days when you’re looking to wear your hair more masculinely, you could show it off a bit more. here’s an example, another one, and another one. this is a neat way to maintain your length but create a more masculine look sometimes. those primarily reflect people with straight/straightened hair, but a similar look can be achieved with curly hair. a good hairdresser should be able to help you achieve this kind of look with your hair type, if that’s something you’re interested in! don’t be afraid to bring in pictures, and don’t be afraid to schedule a consultation appointment before actually investing in a haircut at a new place. if you’re near a city or urban area, you can also look for queer/lgbtq+ friendly salons, and they often have more experience with androgynous styles!

okay whew, this is a lot of words. i hope some of this is helpful! basically, i would just so encourage you to keep your hair long if that’s right for you. i’ve come so close to getting a shorter haircut, and i am so grateful that i never cut off too much length - because that’s what’s right for me! try not to feel pressured to alter your appearance in ways that aren’t authentic to you just because of perceived norms in our communities.

(also, my personal bias: i actually find that long hair is really flexible and malleable for playing with your presentation!)

do any of our readers have suggestions or advice?

-kate